8.9.10

I didn't take a picture on 8.9.10. But I wanted to write the date anyway because it's so cool.

The day itself? Well, it was packing day for our Idaho trip. My family spent a week with my dad's extended family in Idaho at Lake Cascade for many many many years as I was growing up. It is part of the fabric of our family: waterskiing, floating on rafts, jumping into the lake, playing games, sitting and talking around campfires, watching meteor showers, singing at campfires. I think that many of my happiest and most formative times were spent camping with my cousins.

This year was going to be a special year. The family hadn't camped at Cascade since 2003, but Grandma was persuaded to help make it happen again. The families all jumped at the chance. And I think my mom said that out of my Grandma's 88 great-grandchildren, 82 were there. Cousins came from as far away as Chicago and Virginia. I think every one of my siblings was trying to go, until things changed.

Because things changed, I didn't much feel like taking a picture on 8.9.10.

Well, that's the truth of course, but the other truth is that I'm a terrible packer in normal situations. For camping? I'm way way worse. So pretty much 8.9.10 (There. I got to write it 4 times) was a non-fun day.

But packing was well worth it. The trip was fantastic. Wonderful. Everything I'd hoped it would be. Except I missed my siblings. I'm so glad Eric and Christina and Chelsea were there. It was magical.

Sorry y'all couldn't be there, guys. You would have loved it, too. Except maybe the day of cold and rain when the high was 54. (Yuck.)

Breakfast 8.8.10

We were sad to say goodbye to our friends. We hope Ben and Deidre decide to come visit every single year from now on. Deidre and I didn't get to play nearly enough duets.

Millcreek with Mirabelle 8.7.10

There are few places in the Salt Lake Valley that I love more than Millcreek Canyon. We had such an amazing afternoon with Deidre, Ben, Mirabelle, and Rhae and her family, playing in the stream, wandering, eating, talking, relaxing.

I'm so grateful for long conversations, for a chance to really get to know Ben (who has a huge heart and is a sweet sweet dad) and Mirabelle (who was instantly beloved by all of my children), for beautiful places and beautiful people.

The last picture here is not from Millcreek. I had to take Ben and Deij to the Bonneville Shoreline Trail, just to see if they felt the magic, too.

And they did...

Brianna's Wedding 8.7.10

I taught piano to my sweet niece, Brianna, for many years. I love her spunk, her sweetness, her love of music, her gentle heart towards my kids. She just finished her degree in Music Therapy at Utah State. We were thrilled to be able to celebrate her marriage to Joe and to wish her well on her new, exciting adventure.

Stop Me Before I Get Political

I don't like to get political. There's so much tension in politics, especially right now.

But I have so so much to say. Oh so much.

I think it's better to keep my mouth shut. Because this is what will happen:

Those of you who agree with me will feel grateful. You'll be glad someone else is talking about your feelings on the various subjects I'm dying to talk about.

And those of you who don't agree with me will still not agree with me and will have a knot in your stomach because you think I'm just a little delusional and stupid.

So how about this? How about if all of us agree to read two or three things a week from different sources: conservative, liberal, moderate. Let's come up with a good list for each other of sources that are reasonable and thoughtful. Post article ideas in the comments, and I will read them. Maybe we can all read them and have a rational, educated discussion.

And until then, read this on civility. Beautifully, powerfully stated. I especially loved these paragraphs:

The need for civility is perhaps most relevant in the realm of partisan politics. As the Church operates in countries around the world, it embraces the richness of pluralism. Thus, the political diversity of Latter-day Saints spans the ideological spectrum. Individual members are free to choose their own political philosophy and affiliation. Moreover, the Church itself is not aligned with any particular political ideology or movement. It defies category. Its moral values may be expressed in a number of parties and ideologies.

Furthermore, the Church views with concern the politics of fear and rhetorical extremism that render civil discussion impossible. As the Church begins to rise in prominence and its members achieve a higher public profile, a diversity of voices and opinions naturally follows. Some may even mistake these voices as being authoritative or representative of the Church. However, individual members think and speak for themselves. Only the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles speak for the whole Church.

My Messages from Beyond

So, every once in a while, Brent's email address still pops up in my inbox. His email has obviously been hacked, and I know very well what kind of message I'll find, but I open every one anyway.

Today is the three-month anniversary of his death. I've been thinking about him all day. And when I checked my email, I had a new message from "Brent."

And this is apparently what he wants me to know:

Dear friend, Haven`t seen you for a long time! How are you recently? I would like to introduce you an international foreign trade company：sei-Mart. they trade mainly in many kinds of famous electornic products. All of their products are very good in quality, and the price is low. It is really a good opportunity for us to do shopping. Well do is better than well say, just do it! Their website: (I blocked it out) Have a good time!

Yes, friend, it HAS been a long time. Too long. And I can't stand how long it will be before I see you again.

How am I recently? I am doing better, most of the time, but I am missing you all the same.

I know...I should just delete the messages when they show up, but I love seeing his email address in my inbox.

I love it, but I also really really hate it.

It's not an straightforward process, this losing someone you love. Grief is full of twists and turns, full of peace and pain, full of learning and being angry and being grateful. And I wish we hadn't been put on this path. The price we've paid for the learning is the steepest you can pay.

Do me a favor today. Go tell your brothers and sisters you love them.

Because, as "Brent" said:

Well do is better than well say, just do it!

Still Breathing

No, I haven't disappeared. Well, I KIND of have disappeared, I suppose, since it's been over two weeks since I've posted.

I'll be back. I have things to work out in my head and then I'll be back. Maybe even tomorrow.

Or maybe in two MORE weeks.