Did you read the correct amount of panic in the first part of that title? Because honestly, I'm not sure how I entered this phase of my life, the one where I act as chaperone to a bunch of hormonal teenagers who aren't quite sure how to talk to each other.
In fact, the boys were setting up a lacrosse net in the front yard when the girls showed up. I swear five or more full minutes passed before the boys said a word to them. Why is it hard to talk to someone you text 50 times a day? I don't know. I finally played Interfering Mom and stealthily went over to Josh (I'm sure no one noticed) and whispered, "Say HELLO to the girls, son."
We had dinner, the boys went out to the backyard, and the girls offered to clear the table. WHAT? Is that what teenage girls do? Seriously? I didn't quite know how to respond, so I nodded wordlessly.
So they hung out outside for a while. And I felt guilty because my pediatrician had just told me we should take out our totally life-threatening trampoline, but I let them jump. (Dr. Cox, if you happen to find and read this one day, I'm sorry. I really really am. I was still in shock from the teenage girls offering to clear the table.)
And then they watched a movie. And one boy and one girl held hands. And I had to keep walking back and forth to keep an eye on the dangerous situation.
And then they all played night games. And someone tracked dog poop all through my downstairs, up the stairs, and into the main area of the front room. I found it the next day.
All in all, it was a success. No one died on the trampoline. The boy holding hands wasn't my boy. The kids were nice kids.
But I ask again, how is it possible that this is MY life? I didn't know when I was holding my brand new baby Josh that one day his friends would invade my house with their changing voices, their desire to show off on the trampoline to the innocent table-clearing girls, and that I would have to figure out my new role in their world.
I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm just supposed to offer food, treats, and popcorn, and otherwise stay in the background.
Help!
7 comments:
What the???? Josh is still in Primary and plays with little girls like my Alison and comes and chats on my front porch with Coleson!!!! That's the Josh I know! I don't know the Josh who hangs with GIRLS!!! Good luck with all that! Does time seriously go THAT fast? I better do puzzles and color and play dominoes just a little bit longer with my boys tomorrow!
Nooooooo! Josh is not old enough to like girls. Ooooo--gross! I agree with Liz. Good luck with that. He will be a lady killer too, so waht out for him. Just wait til the phone starts rining and everyone wants to talk to him and only him.
Oh, you are one cool & brave Mom! So lucky to watch you trail blaze...you do it so well...poop and all. :) luvs, katrina
This post was absolutely hilarious. I have very vivid memories of my first boy/girl shindig... 5th grade I think? Scandal! You are so funny. Josh is a good boy; you have nothing to worry about.
On another note, holy backyard heaven! No wonder the kiddos wanted the party at the Green's house! Awesome!
Seriously, Amazing backyard! I can't believe Josh is old enough for this stage of life. You will have to share some wisdom with us, because I am afraid my turn is coming all too soon. (my oldest starts middle school next year). I wish we could slow things down a little, but it does sound fun to have teenagers hanging out at your house..never a dull moment. Good Luck!
I'm sure you handled it perfectly!
Seriously, big back yard with a lot of weeding! :)
This was a very funny post. Well said.
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