The Pact: or why good friends make the world go round

The boys and their guitars

I have to tell you about our Pact, because it's so much fun and you seriously might just have to make one, too (with me, maybe?).

We've made some wonderful friends in the last year. (I love my friends. Really. What would I do without you? Really.) It's been fantastic to stretch our hearts to include so many more people to love. I already felt spoiled rotten to care about as many people as I do, and to have even more people to cherish? It's a joy, I tell you.

Two of these new friends are Natalie and Aaron, and we just adore them. After commiserating about how hard it is to be motivated to practice or be healthy or whatever else we're feeling non-motivated about, Aaron had the bright idea to make a pact. So we did. We each chose what to include in our individual contracts, then met for lunch and to exchange checks.

Here's how it works:

Each of us has different elements to our contracts (practicing, exercising, whatever).
We decided on a time frame (until Memorial Day weekend).
We wrote 3 checks to each of the other participants (a total of $20 per round for this time).
Aaron made a Google spreadsheet for us to record our progress.
Every time we slip, we let the others know that they can cash the first (or maybe the second, or hopefully not the third) checks.


Boom. Instant motivation.

My contract?

Practice 10 hours a week
Run a minimum of 12 miles a week
At least 2 days of strength training
Spend 15 minutes on finances every day
Keep a food journal and stay under the calorie limit 5 days a week
(My secret part...scripture study every day...I didn't include that, but I'm holding myself accountable.)

We're two weeks into it. How's it working?

Well, the first Saturday, I finished my practicing at 3:25 am. Ummmm...not so fun. In fact, pretty dang miserable.

I was sure I'd do better last week.

So Saturday night at 11:30 pm, I still had 2 1/2 hours of practicing to do, and I was falling asleep sightreading, so I called uncle and told everyone to cash my first checks.

Turned out it was OK, since everyone else has failed once, too.

I've been running better (15.5 miles last week) and practicing WAY better (memorized 2 pieces already) and eating WAY WAY better (lost 5 pounds.)

The best part? Everyone's invested in each other. I sent out a whiny text today about losing motivation and not wanting to practice and my arm hurting and got support and kindness and a kick in the rear.

I think I'll have to re-start another pact after Memorial Day if it continues to go this well. Anyone want to join me?

My Friend Krisa (and Marianne's Shower) 11.12.10

I love my friend Krisa.  I love her thoughtfulness, her charity, her wisdom, her laugh, and her heart.  I also love her family.  I took a couple of pictures of them for their Christmas card at the SLC City/County building where her husband works.

Her youngest, Eliza, is one of Kate's good buddies.  It had been way too long since they'd been together.  I love seeing their happy faces.

Later that night, I went to Krisa's to celebrate the impending arrival of our friend Marianne's second baby.  I love Marianne, too.  She's passionate, intelligent, funny, cool, and I'm so glad that we've been able to stay in touch.  All three of us were in the same ward, and all three of us moved out within a couple of months, so it's fantastic to find reasons to hang out.

St. George Bound 11.5.10

The week of the Snow Canyon half marathon became increasingly complicated.  David ended up with plantar fasciitis, which blew our dreams of running together again.  He thought he'd come anyway so we could have a great weekend, but then it turned out that he had a major work conflict on Friday night.  Long story short, Bliss, Liz, and I ended up deciding to drive down together and stay at Liz's sisters house (hi, Karin!  You're wonderful!  You're an amazing hostess!)  Christina and Eric had worked extremely hard to set up the babysitting thing and had prepaid for their hotel, so they decided to keep with their original plan and left town a little before we did.

This ended up being a very good thing, because their van (Bessie) broke down just outside of Beaver, and we were able to roll into town for the rescue.

The five of us squeezed into Bliss's Mazda and laughed and laughed and laughed all the way to St. George.  It made a fun trip even more memorable.  Loved it.

The Bike Dudes 9.3.10

Jeff and Llew biked to our house from the Avenues to pick up David, then the three of them took the Shoreline Trail back to Llew's house.  Then we all met for lunch.

Doesn't that sound like a heavenly day?  I love these guys.

Sweet Tomatoes 8.25.10

One of our traditions in the old neighborhood was to hit Sweet Tomatoes with our posse on the first day of school.  It started with just John and Katy and the kids, then we started adding Eric and Nina and their kids, and then when Chad started school, we invited Liz and Jeff and their kids.  Somehow, though, I never pictured it becoming THIS big of a production.

Loved it, though!  Love all these people, love eating with them, laughing with them, and trying to keep Ben from the sugar before he's eaten anything remotely healthy.

(I was sad to have to avoid the lava cake, though.  This no sugar thing can be tricky.)

Breakfast 8.8.10

We were sad to say goodbye to our friends. We hope Ben and Deidre decide to come visit every single year from now on. Deidre and I didn't get to play nearly enough duets.

Millcreek with Mirabelle 8.7.10

There are few places in the Salt Lake Valley that I love more than Millcreek Canyon. We had such an amazing afternoon with Deidre, Ben, Mirabelle, and Rhae and her family, playing in the stream, wandering, eating, talking, relaxing.

I'm so grateful for long conversations, for a chance to really get to know Ben (who has a huge heart and is a sweet sweet dad) and Mirabelle (who was instantly beloved by all of my children), for beautiful places and beautiful people.

The last picture here is not from Millcreek. I had to take Ben and Deij to the Bonneville Shoreline Trail, just to see if they felt the magic, too.

And they did...

My Friend 8.6.10

You know how there are those people you meet and they nearly instantly become part of the very fabric of your being?

You know how they can live across the country and you may not talk more than a couple of times a year and see each other next to never but when you do it's like no time has passed? No time at all? And they just get you? And inspire you? And make you want to be a better person?

Deidre is one of those people. Twenty-one years ago, we met at the sinks in Deseret Towers brushing our teeth. We discovered we were both piano majors, both liked the same kinds of music, and I think we were friends to the core within a day. (Our group later included our soon-found friends Steph and Guen and after I got married and deserted the apartment, Rhae took my place. All five of us still have a deep, dear bond.)

Oh, and David loves Deidre, too. (In fact, they went on a date before he ever asked me out. Yes, I had a boyfriend, but it's still fun to tease him about it.)

Deidre is just plain awesome. She's a phenomenal pianist, jazz musician, and songwriter living in New York with her sweet husband Ben and their darling Mirabelle. She dreams big, she loves big, she is always thinking, always creating, and she brightens my world. We haven't been in the same city since her wedding five years ago (which is a sad sad thing), but I was thrilled to hear she was coming to SLC with her family, and we got a whole weekend together.

On Friday we hung out and talked and laughed, then went to the Gateway to let Mirabelle and Ben play in the water fountains.

Then last minute we decided to go to the Deer Valley Music Festival. It was a gorgeous night. The kids were happy. The music was fun. The thunder and lightning threatened, but held off just over the mountain.

It was a nearly perfect day.

Buddies 8.4.10

After Josh's cello lesson we stole our buddies Coleson, Emily, and Ashlee from SLC and forced them to come to our house. They didn't kick and scream too much about the kidnapping.

We miss our buddies. There's something so special about long-time friendships.

Piano Group Rocks 8.3.10

Seriously. I can't tell you how much I love the women in my piano group. They are intelligent, talented, funny, kind, intuitive. And they can PLAY that piano.

When I was inspired to begin this group, I had no idea how many dividends it would pay out within such a short time. I'm inspired by the other women, by their music, by their teaching ideas, by their lives.

We're working on duet music together, Cody played some Schubert lied accompaniments that she'll be performing with her husband, and I played the Mompou I performed for Mrs. Gibson's memorial service. We stayed late, and then I hung out talking in the parking lot for another hour. I got home about midnight. And I loved every minute.

Welcome Home 8.1.10

We have some amazing friends. Some of our dearest friends have been made through Dave's association with the symphony, and it's been hard when they've moved on to new adventures.

But sometimes they come back...

OK, they NEVER come back, except this time. Jeff and Hillary moved away a year ago to try out a life in Baltimore. And their house didn't sell. And they didn't really like Baltimore. And the renters in their Salt Lake house moved out. And so they CAME HOME.

So we celebrated. And we'll continue to celebrate. Because we love them and we can't believe we get to have them in our lives on a constant basis again.

Malisa's New House 7.20.10

Malisa bought a new house! Hooray! It's lovely and in a lovely neighborhood. I'm thrilled for her and her cute family.

I'm also fascinated by how tough moving can be emotionally. It's a little surprising to see her going through the same process I did 10 months ago, since her move was more happily anticipated.

So my hypothesis?

Moving stinks. Don't do it. Unless you really have to. And then prepare yourself for a wild ride.

But I'm still excited for Malisa.

On Friendship and Crockpots 7.1.10

Have I mentioned my friends?

I have?

That they're amazing? And kind? And thoughtful?

Oh, I have?

Well, here's more evidence. My friends Cindy and Sally and Stephanie came to visit with a frozen lasagna, strawberries, bread and chocolate cake. And bagels. And a gorgeous plant. And a card. And they stayed to let all the girls play. And they let me talk.

Plus, they got me out of doing more weeding, so that was good.

And remember how I broke my crockpot? Well, I finally replaced it. I tried to find one at a garage sale, but alas. No luck. I ended up having to rely on Costco to save my summer dinner schedule. So here is the old and the new. Can you believe I've been married long enough to have a crockpot that looks as ancient as this one?

You can?

Darn.

6.11.10

This is not a perfect picture of the day.

It's David, cleaning out Kurt's car.

After Kurt hiked out of Havasupai, he drove to my parents' home in Brent's car. Ashleigh, sick with grief and worry about Kurt, decided to fly out with Holden on Thursday on the first flight she could catch. So her car was at our house while we were all in California.

All of us worried about Kurt. We all felt helpless. Besides praying, what else could we do for him?

My sweet David figured out something and changed his worry to action. He started giving their car a David detailing job. He worked for hours and hours and hours to clean that car. I would go out into the garage to talk to him and find him crying as he waxed or vacuumed or polished.

He is such a good good man.

And that is the kind of love we found people giving us in abundance. Our neighbors and friends from our old neighborhood made us dinner and gathered money for the gas for the trip home. My visiting teachers (women from our church who are asked to care for individual families) came with love and made us lunch to take with us on the trip. We had more friends give us gifts of money, care packages for the car ride (both there AND home) and so many many sweet calls, cards, and especially prayers.

I can't thank you enough. I really truly can't.

But as I think about it, maybe this really is the perfect picture of the day. The love we have felt from you all has affected us so much that we'll never be the same. Our opportunities to serve will be one way we can thank you.

6.10.10

Flowers from my sweet friend and running partner, Tiernae.

So I hope you never have a day like our June 10.

(June 9 was pretty horrible, too.)

I really really do. The pain? Nearly unbearable. The tears? I didn't know there could be so many. The questions? Mostly unanswered and always present.

And yet, I will admit that in the exquisite pain, there was a mixture of exquisite joy. I have never felt so sure that love is everything, both the end and the beginning. And the outpouring of love for our family was just starting.

Living a Little in the Past 6.8.10

Our school ended on June 4, but the kids' former school finished on June 8th, so we crashed the party. Ben found Ezra, and there was a bit of a lovefest. I love watching those two little besties. They're always either loving each other or making each other crazy. There is no middle ground.

Sophie and her lovely friend-from-birth Anna. Oh, we miss Anna heart and soul.

Two of the women I love. Jenna and Linda have had my back through many many a long school year. It takes years to build friendships like these, and I'm so very grateful for the years we watched our boys (and girls!) grow up together.

And since we were in a party-crashing kind of mood, we crashed the old street's School's Out barbecue. Jimmy was at the BBQ once again, and the great conversation flowed.

It was a fantastic last day of school...even if it wasn't really our last day of school!!!

Visiting Paradise 5.14.10

Sophie was invited to her best friend Anna's birthday party at her old gym in our old neighborhood. Kate, Ben and I decided to go out to dinner together, but thought we'd make a stop at the old street. (David was in Spokane visiting his brother and Josh was on a backpacking trip, so it was just the four of us.)


I knocked on doors and soon had a gathering of screaming kids and chatting grown-ups.

Sigh. Bliss.





It was a night full of nostalgia. Also laughing. And fun. We're adapting to the new life, but the old life was pretty special.

New Book Club 4.28.10

I tried out a new book club. Man, it's been a party week. I like party weeks. They're way more fun than normal weeks.

I loved the group of women, and it turned out that I have at one point or another taught piano to children of five of the women there.

The discussion was great. The book was good. (It's not one I recommend to readers with a distaste for gore or sex or language in books. Just saying.) And hanging out with intelligent, funny people for the third day in a row? Total plus.

Yippee. Apparently one of the secrets to a happy life is being around people other than children. Who'd have guessed?

Oh, also? Ignore the disgusting stuff that lives in the seams of my van seats. Yuck. I maybe shouldn't bring your attention to the grime? Maybe you wouldn't have noticed without this note? Oh well...now you can go back and look more closely. Guess I need to vacuum more thoroughly. Better yet, maybe I need to ask David to work his magic on my van so that I can take pictures of books on the passenger seat and not be humiliated publicly.

Feasting 4.26.10

L-R Jimmy & Joni, Jeff & Liz, Hiding Man & Katy, Eric & Christina, and us

While we ARE finally adapting to our new circumstances, there is no doubt that we all feel a strong strong pull to our old lives. Ben about a month ago began saying, "I miss our old house. I want to go to our old house." At that point it had been six months since the move. I was more than surprised that a not-quite-three year old would have such a strong connection to the past, but then, paradise is a hard place to leave and an easy place to remember. Ben has continued to talk about the old house, and sometimes when we're driving up the hill to the new house, he lets me know in no uncertain terms that he'd rather be driving back to the old neighborhood.

One of the great traditions on the old street was our five-family weekly barbecue. We've gotten together quite a few times since the move, but never with just the grownups. So when plans were made to get the barbecue group together at Jimmy's restaurant, Donovan's, anticipation was great. We all looked forward to it, and I believe Liz even dreamed about it.

I could say a lot about the dinner, but really, all I need to say was that we feasted on amazing food and with amazing friends. As we drove home (moaning about how horribly disgusting we felt for eating so much), we both felt so grateful to have linked lives with people of such goodness, such caring, and who are just so dang funny. I don't know if my stomach hurt more from laughing or from forcing down those last few bites of creme brulee. OK, it was the creme brulee. Oh, that creme brulee...

My Shoes 4.13.10

I've found a running partner. This is a blessing, because without knowing someone is out waiting for me at 6:30 I might have a rough time forcing myself out of bed these winter mornings. I know the calendar says it's spring, but I've run in plenty of snow this month, so I'm going to stick with winter.

I hop out of bed, brush my teeth, throw on my contacts and my running clothes, stick my Garmin in the window to pick up the satellite, and tie my shoes. Then I meet my neighbor and we choose our route for the morning.

Thank goodness for running friends. I miss Liz (and Bliss and Jenn) dreadfully, but I'm grateful for Tiernae and the many mornings of running into the dawn ahead of us.