Braces Stink

I want to use another word, but Mom might read my blog...

Questions I get asked:

Why did I get braces? Hmmm...I got braces so that my teeth would be straight.

Am I glad I got braces? No.

Will I be glad I got braces when it's all over? Ask me then.

David and I always thought it would be good to get braces when I was pregnant so I could get the ugly all over with at once. No. That's NOT a good idea. Because when you're pregnant, you feel like a whale, your face gets all swollen, and you need to feel lovely whenever possible. When you have braces AND you're pregnant, it is next to impossible to feel lovely.

Pregnancy only lasts 9 long months, but then there are all those months when you're just fat. And then there are all those months when you're not really fat, but you're lumpy. And having braces does not help you feel like you're getting back to your old self. Because now you're a lumpier version of your old self, but with metal brackets on all of your big teeth. And you drool more. And you spit more when you talk.

So, this is what I do not like about having braces at 35:

1. Having braces at 35.

2. Eating a salad and having green stuff stuck in my teeth until I can find a sink and toothbrush.

3. Eating a sandwich and having sandwich stuff stuck in my teeth until...

4. Eating...ok, you get it, I think.

5. Having a 2nd grader that I just met look at me like I'm an alien and say "Why do YOU have those on your teeth?"

6. IT HURTS! It hurt to get them, it hurts when they're adjusted, the inside of my mouth hurts...

7. Flossing. Honestly, I hated flossing before. But now it takes 20 minutes. TWENTY MINUTES??? Like I HAVE TWENTY MINUTES EXTRA IN MY DAY???????

8. Pictures of me in braces. (There are no weddings in my family for 12 years, and then both Bri AND Kurt decide to get married. What's that about? Not to mention pics of me with my Ben. There and I thought my delivery room pictures couldn't get any scarier.)

9. Braces cost a lot. I could have a lot of fun with the money I'm putting into my mouth.

10. I'm sure there's more, but I don't want to think about it anymore.

There must be positives about braces. Hmmm...

1. I'll know what my kids are going through when they get braces.

2. My jaw problems are actually improving.

3. My teenage piano students think it's great when they get their braces off but I still have mine.

4. I actually went ahead and did something for myself that I'd been considering for years.

So here I am before braces and during braces.




With Cindee last summer With Sophie in May

Until next summer, then, my mantra will be, "I'll be glad when they're off, I'll be glad when they're off, I'll be glad when they're off."