So we've been cello shopping (witness the last post) for a little while. Josh has decided that he'll tolerate piano, but that he truly loves the cello. I love watching him start to identify with something that will enrich his life so much. He now has two great passions: soccer and cello...a good combination in my book.
Josh has played eleven or twelve 1/2 size cellos in our quest for the "right" instrument. I love that he's so opinionated about them, but it did make for a lot of running around. As he played each one, we talked about the qualities it possessed, whether the tone was open, closed, large, small, nasal, clear, rich, shallow. It was a complicated process for an eleven year old and a pianist, but the choice finally became clear, and we are now the proud possessors of a beautiful handmade cello for which Josh feels a great affinity. It responds well to him, and he is encouraged further to reach for bigger things.
So today I kept thinking about my life (because sometimes I do that...OK, I do it too much) and was thinking about being an instrument in God's hands. I've always responded to that idea, of course, as a musician. The differences in instruments I've played and what I can really accomplish on each is made abundantly clear, like the concert I played at a nursing home on a spinet without a working pedal (not good) or playing at the Assembly Hall on Temple Square with that amazing 9' Steinway (it responds almost to my thoughts, I swear.) Sometimes I'm afraid I am so caught up in my troubles and trials that I respond to Heavenly Father more like that nursing home spinet or the rental cello Josh tried than I do like the Steinway or the cello Josh chose. He can still use me for what He needs, but I may not be as effective. It's when I allow myself to be open to loving those around me and not focusing on myself, my little corner of the universe, that I really can affect change in the world. I'm far from being a Steinway...but maybe if I keep my heart open, I can continue to grow in my ability to help the world.