Friday, August 23, 2013

School Schmool

I am not ready for:

Early mornings (and by early, I mean 5:40. Which is early. Really early.)
Forgetting to remember to sign the reading charts
Packing lunches
Early bedtimes that don't ever seem to happen
Stressed kids
Stressed me

I am also not ready for:

Benjamin going into first grade. All day. Away from me.
Josh going into twelfth grade. For reals.

Yesterday was full: check ups at the pediatrician and hours and hours of school shopping. Today we spent a few hours cleaning out the kids' cubbies to help prepare our return to the grind. The kids also all got back-to-school haircuts from our friend, Nicole. They all look darling. And old.

My cute friend wrote something on Instagram about how having a first grader makes her feel old.

Yup. Having a first grader did make me feel old as well as quite seasoned in the mom department. Having a senior is making me feel really really old, and also a little out of control. Because he was just in first grade with all of his buddies, I swear. And where does the time go? And can't I have a replay on some of it? And can't I bottle some of it, too?

Tomorrow and the next day will come, and then the next day, too. And on that day, don't mind me if I'm a little melancholy. It's the last first day of school with all of my children under one roof, the first first day of school that I am alone for five and a half hours. It's gonna be wacko.

I'm giving myself permission to feel whatever it is I am going to feel and do whatever it is I need to do for the first couple of days. But then...well, friends, then it is time to finish the taxes. From 2011. And 2012. Believe me, those 5 1/2 hours will go quickly. And then every day I'll get my babies back and I can love them and laugh with them and get super frustrated at them when they don't do the dishes without being asked.

I still really really really wish I could keep them here with me for another week (month) or two. (And mothers of children younger than mine, don't worry. I didn't feel like this when my own children were young. Back in those days, I felt guilty about how ready I was for them to be back in someone else's care for a few hours a day. I didn't imagine how much my feelings would change.

1 comment:

Megan said...

I'm pretty sure Josh was in first grade when I met you. Or possibly kindergarten. That he is graduating makes me feel old too, and kind of panicky about how fast it all moves (after it all moves so slowly in the beginning, of course).