Sunday, September 26, 2010
I grabbed my iPod on the way out. While climbing the hill, I listened to a talk on prayer and promptings of the spirit which talked about the miraculous rescue of a young man when his parents felt inspired to pray for him at a moment of great danger. I thought about Brent. I cried. I felt the reassurance of the spirit that while he was not rescued from his moment of great danger, that he had been at that very moment in the hands of a loving Father and that we were too. I took the pain of it and gave it back to Heavenly Father, filing it in the "I don't understand fully" file.
I reached the trail, and despite the barely brightening sky, decided to turn onto it instead of continuing on the street. The path was still, the sun began to glimmer over the mountains, and the lights of the valley shone under my feet. I stopped at my turning point, breathing in pure beauty.
Something rose in me. "Think for a minute," it said. I thought. And then I was washed with peace. As joy bubbled up, I remembered the date. September 25, the anniversary of our move. And I knew, in one gorgeous moment of grace, that all I've experienced this year, all the pain, all the turmoil, all the questions, all the searching, and all the growth, was sanctified for my good. I wept again, recognizing that all of it has worked together to put me in a new place, not just physically but spiritually. I have a new heart. And with the new heart, I've been gifted a new vision for my life.
I don't know why my path has been stony and hard to follow for so long, but it's lying smooth and straight ahead of me now. And I am grateful. I am so so grateful.