So if you've been reading my blog for very long, I think you'll recognize this ridiculous cycle:
Gee, I have so many weaknesses.
My weaknesses are really dragging me down.
Ah! Epiphany! Heavenly Father cares about me despite my weaknesses! All is right in the world.
Man, I can't believe how many weaknesses I have.
Life really stinks. I'm really lame. I just wish I could conquer these things that make me so frustrated with myself.
What? You mean that it's EXPECTED that I am weak? That's part of the PLAN? Amazing! I never would have GUESSED! Grace is wonderful!
Ummmmm...can I just ask a question?
Why don't I learn this lesson once and for all?
It's like I'm enrolled in Remedial Life (Grace for Dummies). Seriously. I'd like to be done with this lesson once and for all so I can like myself more, serve the people around me better and maybe learn something about, I don't know, something ELSE?
But then, in the plan, is there really anything but grace? Isn't that what it's all about? Maybe I'm not in Grace for Dummies. Maybe I'm in Advanced Placement Grace. After all, I'm having lots and lots of tests and even writing a dissertation or two. Looks like I'm on the cyclical learning plan. Maybe if I keep returning to the same lesson over and over and over, I'll really start to believe it.